Forever, Evie's Mom - A Friend's Perspective

2017 Nebraska Medicine - After Triple Transplant. 2018 Hospice Butterfly Release.

Being there the day Evie passed I could barely look at her, Evie’s mom. I mean I had been with them throughout Evie’s journey, but I went from seeing this woman in fight or flight mode for so long, to seeing her in such a numb state.

I mean, she just lost her reason for breathing, her everything. How, as a friend, do you even begin to relate or understand. I started overthinking everything and was so scared of that my first words to her would be the wrong ones. Looking back, I don’t even think she remembers what I said to her, but to me it was such a big deal to make sure I said “the right thing.” 

I called her. No answer. I called again (Yes, I am “that friend’). No answer. So, I decided to message her and it read:

“Taylor, you will always be Evie’s mom and that is one thing no one can ever take away from you. I love you. I am here. I will cry, listen, lay, and laugh with you whenever you need. Evie got her strength from you and you will get your strength from her to get through this and remember you are forever Evie’s mom.”

I didn’t know what to do as a friend, but all I wanted to do was hug her and cry with her. Her identity for so long, a mom, was now gone. The person she molded herself around, was now taken out of her life. I will never forget her telling me, “It’s like I’m constantly trying to catch my breath. My reason to breathe is gone.” It’s then, I realized, her purpose was still there. She still is a mom and always would be. The type of mother so many of strive daily to be. She was the true example of a strong mother as she sat in a hospital room for over a year fighting for her daughter’s life. She is the mother we all need to be. Even if Evie is not “here” to receive her mother’s love, physically there are so many other ways Evie is receiving her love. Taylor, is forever the best example of a mother.

I learned so quickly that the words I said to Taylor didn’t matter. She knew I would never be able to understand. She knew the words I would say wouldn’t ever take that pain away. What she knew is that I would be there no matter what. She knew I wouldn’t judge her in this grief process. She knew I would be here when she needed a back bone to stand up tall, just like I watched her do for Evie for so long. She just needed me physically there…and there I would be.

Taylor, Evie’s mom, will forever be guiding others in the light of Evie. She will forever be, the greatest honor of all, Evie’s mom.

Written By: Emily Moses, family friend